tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7659678641015045000.post4860196511380479464..comments2022-05-31T20:45:28.743-04:00Comments on Garden Talk: A different kind of shut upBikermomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07183756903027223916noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7659678641015045000.post-25324130669998362632012-05-16T16:57:07.718-04:002012-05-16T16:57:07.718-04:00So interesting. My husband and I have just been ha...So interesting. My husband and I have just been having this discussion. I grew up on the extreme that my mother asked my father for NOTHING. When he saw a need and was home he jumped in and did it. I learned that it was not OK to ask for help, and that as the wife I was responsible for everything. If my husband could help he just would. If he didn't then I should just take care of it. My mom would have died before asking for anything from anybody. My husband grew up on the other extreme were his mother asked her boys and husband for EVERYTHING. She could be standing next to the sink getting dinner ready and ask someone to get her a glass of water. So Husband grew up never looking for any way to help because Mom would just ask. He's completely oblivious to anything that is not brought to his attention, and I grew up not learning how to ask. It took us almost 9 years to figure out were this tension in our marriage was coming from. Hopefully as we figure this out we can find some great middle ground to teach our kids.Corner121https://www.blogger.com/profile/17872548207529518745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7659678641015045000.post-19684939328367384502012-05-14T18:22:10.281-04:002012-05-14T18:22:10.281-04:00I like that example. As I was reading, I couldn&#...I like that example. As I was reading, I couldn't figure out how you teach a kid to do something without being told to do it. I've got loads of those situations that arise, but once you remind them to do it, you've undermined any chance of having them Take Responsibility for noticing it themselves. I still can't quite figure out how to deal with this.<br /><br />But your one example helps. The kid sees that something needs to be done. After all, you started loading the car. But then you quit. Ingenious! (Now I just have to figure out how to translate that mentality into our multitude of situations.)Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16307213773466556564noreply@blogger.com