One way I fight the isolation thing, and I am not really fighting it, is to practice hospitality. I love to have people over to our house, prepare them some yum yums, and enjoy their company. Having guests does not bother me. I do think that having our crowd over to other people's home is daunting. I have it from first hand conversation with some friends, there is a fear of cooking for a crowd. It isn't that they feel the kids are a bother, it is a matter of not having table space or physical room. I think hospitality is in my blood as my relations on the other side of the pond have the knack, are calm, warm and welcoming. They are not easily rocked. I can have an inside smile if anyone makes comments about how much work it takes to have people over. Well.....it isn't that big a deal and I love it. I can not fit it in as much but it does solve some problems too in that the kids can have their friends over and have a great time. It is true we have space inside and out but you don't have to have a lot of room either to have people over. (That is not a slam on the fold who are overwhelmed by us).
Anyway....have people over. Have one person over. A couple - young and old couples. Have families over and renew the art of hospitality. It is a good thing. Don't wait til Christmas. Make new traditions. I don't think you will regret it. Don't worry about making your kids nuts cleaning the house. Keep one room basically decent, don't give house tours, and enjoy yourself.
That is all....for now.
I agree with both of your posts on this. I *like* to have people over. For me it is less work and stress. I know my children are in a comfortable environment (I have one that has anxiety issues) and do not have to worry about them in a un-kid safe place (or a toddler wanting to play with the Hummel figurines set on a low shelf).
ReplyDeleteOf course, I also get the "but you have so much on your plate, we just couldn't ask you to host us" I get that from family a lot. (also, I think some of this stuff is Southern, we live in SC)
I am starting to see the "we are our own community" thing too. My oldest is just not quite 10. So I have a long time to go until spouses and all that. But, while I am sad that my extended family is small and not close, I get so excited to think of what our family gathering will be like in 15/20 years!
And it isn't like we don't have friends or don't have social opportunities, but I am thinking more and more about which ones of them are really necessary.
Good thoughts! Thanks!
I get that "you have so much on your plate" comment at times too but......I smile at them and remind them that it is something I love to do. In other words.....in my brain.....I might be thinking......thank you for your concern but I have few things I can do which I really revel in with my friends and THIS is one way I can do it. Because my extended family is VERY small, they are the ones who get the most confused by this concept of loving to have people over and practicing hospitality. It think that is because our family is the size it is and they can not imagine taking care of that number of people so they think I am nuts to want to have more people over.
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