Kids are normal

The phrase that kids will be kids is so true.  I'm trying to wrap my head more around this when finding messes and taking it all less personally so hat maybe my marbles will stay somewhat together.  A lot of thing in life are just normal.  The toddlers rearrange the house as a regular rule in the name of curiosity.  The energy of pre adolescents can amaze us.  The ability for them to bypass messes is really normal.  It doesn't really matter to them.  They are not of an age to understand the value of what food costs or whether a cup has sentimental value to you as it gets broken.  These events are not personal threats to you.

I can mentally understand the concept of oblivious accidents and messes and even remind other parents of the same.  The puppy dog eyed five year old who might have spilled twenty pounds of oatmeal on the floor really wasn't trying to upset his mom.  So why can't I always recognize this for myself.   Giving kids to do lists without believing they have secret meetings to make you crazy by ignoring you.  The behavior is just normal.

I want to remember this to lower my own stress and just simply have normal cleaning times and lists without internalizing it all.  Every normal child has waited to the last second lest they've discovered.   I remember doing it.  I was an expert.  I was normal.  So talented too I'm sure.  I fought with great skill with my brother and I'm not sure how we made it out alive.   Such awesome memories.

Moving forward with today's tasks and routine is just normal too.   I can't add anything more to our live or implode.   Yeah.  That is a thing.  I do hope that improves as the littles get older so exploring other activities doesn't add to my work load but for now I will just try to be at peace with the normal which is mine.

Husband away

Karin will play.   Or....read a lot, play with the kids,   He hasn't traveled much in years but it seems like things are cranking up again in that direction.   Back  then I only had three or four kids and I do remember climbing the walls a bit but I also remember putting them all to bed as soon as possible!    Right now I hear the most amazing screaming coming from the basement.    Hmmm.....I guess it is early to bed for her!   Just as soon as I pound out a few words more and off she goes to la la land.   I become somewhat zero tolerance when I know that it is me against the herd.  

The first few weeks hubby traveled back in the nineties, I was all distressed and whoa is me.   Then.....it occurred to me that there are two modes of me which had to be!   The dad is at home mode where we could conquer and divide and the dad is away mode.   I put on my single mother hat and made do.   I made sure the meals were planned, food was purchased and then hunkered down on the homestead.   Our pastor at the time was always very concerned for my well being so that was sweet.   I still bump into him from time to time and remember those days.   Once hubby was in Spain and France when a train was in an accident in a tunnel over there so he had a cautious approach to ask me if I had heard from him.  

This time round is not much different.   I will get used to this drill.   He has a job so that is good.   He has decisions to make about that job and whether to stick with that company after 26 years.   I take on little projects of setting stronger routines with kids and extinguishing the screaming of small people or at least work on it is a bit harder.   One day down.......