Distraction by Reading

I have this stupid struggle with depression and so since it is stupid but real, I have decided to distract myself by reading.....a lot.    The internet gives a person popcorn brain and facebook does not help all that much to distract but rather detracts from my functioning so.......between running away from the internet, at least during most of the day, and whacking away at my 'want to reads' and 'want to read to the kids' agenda, I might be able to keep my mind occupied against the evils lurking at my door with my head.   Sounds like a plan.

Of course reading could add to depression if I read to avoid real life.   Yuck.   The balance is a pain.   Can I handle structured life?   I might be able to remember structured life this week, but maybe I will forget next week?   Who knows.

My last read, "A Tale of Two Cities" was very awesome.   Some say it has too much tedium in the beginning, but I think I just want to reread the beginning so I can connect the dots of all the nuances I missed the first time round.   It took me weeks to find time to read at all so I thought I was just mixed up from forgetting what had already happened.   Perhaps I was just a bit lost.   I highly recommend it for excellent weaving of events and characters.   The Christ like sacrifice was beautifully written and a basic work of art.   Images of the feet walking and walking forward through life and death the sure end to all were rich.   I kind of wonder now if my grandfather was a fan of this book or if he chose the verse for his gravestone from a basic love of the promise it holds.  Perhaps my grandmother chose it.   Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.[d] Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. John 11: 25 - 26.   Perhaps I will choose this for my gravestone.   I never met my grandfather but feel bonded to him in this verse.   It was a key verse in "A Tale".   Yay Dickens!   There are some of his I want to reread.   

So other than reading and running away from the internet as much as this weakling can manage.....remembering my responsibilities might be helpful too.   Hmmmm........runs away from laptop.   

And then there is reality

I have awesome thoughts about what to do but in reality, we trip through the day slowly and hope to not either wallow in filth, hope to have a pair of socks to wear, hope to know what is for dinner etc.   Today I have two appointments in the morning, tomorrow hopefully only one as I change the time of another.   The in-laws need attention, and husband is away again.   Staying home as much as possible is still my mantra.   If I am not here, things fall apart (never read that book).   So my son gets a staph infection, I stand vigil and pray for healing, days are not as I think they will be and we muddle along.   Thanks be to God for Christ's Mercy.   That is my other mantra.   So much going on and I know I am finite and frail in many ways so will do my best to not allow the devil to get his crooks in me and to cry out to the Lord daily.   So much to write about so little time.......