Visits with in-laws

My in-laws are now good and settled at the assisted care living facility and all of their kids seem pleased with their living situation and how things are going.   I would love to be able to visit them more often and squeeze in some quickies here and there.   They are very delighted to have visitors and the atmosphere is much more pleasant as I am visiting them and not living with them.   There is a difference.

I get a quick picture of the reality of life when it isn't the life I am living now.   All of these older folk and  handicapped folk living their lives and routines and how they are not much different than me.   I have routines and ups and downs and surprises which occur.   I feel like I can talk to my mother-in-law in a comfortable way knowing that we both are challenged by goodies, both forget a lot of stuff, and I can kid her a little about her challenges of stepping away from the deserts and the sweet tea.   It is pleasant.   It is also a nice switch from my own routine as the older people there are much more delighted to see me and have a friendly hello than the people I live with as those people I live with see my face a lot.  

Visiting my own parents happens from time to time too.   My mother and I are going to Chicago on Friday to explore and go to a symphony concert.   I did that with her last year around this time.   It should be fun.   I am curious as to what my reaction will be this year.   Taking in live concerts is dreamy and too few and far between.   I find watching the attendees pretty fascinating too the same way it is fascinating to visit with the residents at my in-laws place.   They all have these lives they are living and it is just a curious thing to watch them and listen to them if we have a chance to talk.

One woman I saw yesterday is the wife of one of Charley's ex co-workers.   She was hospitalized last month with bacterial pneumonia.   Yikes.   The infection started to invade her body as well.   So I listen carefully to her story and give her hugging eyes and understanding and it is a sweet conversation.   Her husband is totally incapacitated and she does everything for  him so it was hard to be sick and wonder how he was doing.   The sweetness of her concern.   Sigh.  

Now back to my regularly scheduled program of trying to get something graded, making sure daughter dear practices, and using house cleaning as another method of exercise.   I have to look it that way as the house makes me nutty.   Back to the laundry........

I didn't see that there

My morning anxiety attack was over how many things I see scattered about that I am certain other people can see too but mysteriously don't know how to react.   For instance.......the two year old has dumped over the sock bin and had a sockfetti party.    What could I do about this???????   Hmmm.......   The garbage cans are washed and  lay blocking the back door.   What could I do about this?   Then there are the kitchen counters with mom's coffee pot vomit all over it........   The rodent of unusual size that opened the 50 pound bag of quick oats and missed his bowl too.    I think these sort of sites are what make me more ADD and anxious or at least equally anxious, than toddlers screaming and five or more people waiting for me to help them all at the same time.   I suppose this is also related to the helplessness factor.   How to cure this disease is probably the biggest unsolved mystery of all time.   I noticed that "The Story of the World" uses an example of archeologists finding a child's toy at an ancient settlement.   The example is made up of course but I have no doubt little sinners have left stuff laying about from the beginning of time.    We just have more of this junk than they did?  

I had the usual obnoxious mother idea of taking the kids on a tour of the countryside and seeing if we could find the most trashed property and perhaps even have a contest and check list of homes whose exteriors are peppered with garden tools, tractors, piles of disposed of junk, gardens in need of weeding etc.   Oh dear, I am giving myself another anxiety attack as we may have to drive to Arkansas to find them.  

Okay.   Time to take my negative attitude and proceed to direct my little dears to their tasks at hand and do the next thing and............try not to panic.  

Breathe

Trying not to panic.   I realize I cannot get everything done today.  I should really lay out a plan of attack for getting our house ready for Charley's parents.   Routines need to be more solid and we need to get rid of a bunch of stuff.   I make progress in spits and starts.   Lists.   Focus.   How to do that with sick and cranky kids.   The kids are better today but the youngest has decided he is an infant again in the nursing department.   Sigh.   I don't begrudge him but......my ADD kicks in and I see everything to get done and it makes me.....hyper and unsettled.   I know, I know....dust bunnies can wait while the kids are small but frankly the organization of stuff around here cannot wait if I plan to keep my marbles.    Onward.   Time to pay all the bills so I can have a break from paper work.   Oh yeah.....kids learning things.....must happen.   Yes, Karin is freaking out a bit. 

Constant

Planning.   Organizing.   Thinking how to make it all go more smoothly.   Tomorrow is my infamous Monday.   I tend to loath Mondays.   A friend of mine and I joke that we should take every Monday off as Sunday can take tons of energy and leave us road kill.   Several years ago I had a system which helped me keep the family sanity of cleaning for 45 minutes or so every morning.   The idea came from a cd published by the Fundagelicals, "24 hours is All You Get."   Yep.   It the best thing I bought from the Fundagelicals as far as remembering routines and keeping it simple to accomplish more.   That particular year we cleaned a few rooms every morning.    I think it is time to pick up this habit again.

My neighbor Jim has trained my husband, of almost 25 years, to clean up the kitchen down to the counters every night.   Incredibly awesome.   My ego will not be shattered by the husband sweeping and wiping down counters.   Major sigh of relief.   In the house he grew up in, the mom did everything.   What his mom did though was quietly go about what needed to be done because it needed to be done.   This gene has finally come to the surface in her son.    Phew.

Figuring out how to hammer school and keep on top of the clutter is my goal.....again.....for this new week.   Catechesis and read aloud time will have to happen first or IT will not get done.   Nap time for a few hours this evening and then attack.   The nine kiddos and 45 year old me will give it a try.   Yay, older than 45 year old me husband has joined the club. 

Blessings on your week y'all.   

Overwhelmed

It is amazing to me how fast I fall into being overwhelmed by the tasks at hand with this bunch of kids.    I begin the day a rational being and then an hour or so goes by and just being conscious and looking around the house brings out the ADD in me and "how in the world to prioritize THIS day?" syndrome.   The hubby fashioned a crude bookshelf for the basement over the weekend and I can not wait to tackle getting books and such off of surfaces and filling that puppy up.   Many thanks for the shelves!!!!   I attempt the FlyLady principles but still can't quite get taking one thing at a time.   I am not sure how other people get a handle on their large families and I don't suppose their plights are much brighter.    Turning my head to prayer helps and staying on top of food in their bellies also helps.   Taking one hour at a time is a nice goal.   Not starting new projects before the present projects are done also helps but of course is not as fun.   Self discipline.   Ugh.   Breathe.   Focus on what is going right.   Hugging and squeezing the baby helps too.   Onward.    

Family conversation

Anna, "You people talk a lot."   Yep.   Anna, "We need some music to drown you guys out."  Yep.  

Sock and laundry sorting.    This activity is basically avoided at all costs.   I do too much for these slugs and they know it.    Sort the socks then stuff the matched socks back in the basket and we still have no socks in our drawer.   My socks never return.    Smallish mommy feet compared to large son feet, find my socks being put in the five year old's drawer.    Why???   I need some socks!   When I find the socks they return with holes in them. 

Life around here is constant interruption.   The so called potty trained child makes an interesting project in my bathroom and another child comes in announcing there is a problem in the bathroom.   It is my fault that nothing gets done around here when I decide to sit down and write nonsense.  My sitting down is the signal to do nothing.     Eleven different ages at eleven different stages of life.   Hmmmm.......the one year old is generally happy and cute most of the time.    He has only learned to bonk siblings on the head while smiling.   He must not quite be to the age of reason......or....is he.    He has processed that when he bonks someone he will get a reaction.

I have at least one hundred bulbs left to plop in the ground and that might equal burning calories so I better go do that.   I did manage one hundredish so far after returning home from pondering how fat I am.   I came in for a break and made some non-calorie tea which every child is doing their best to tip over.   The coffee/tea dance is trying at times.   Time to chug the rest and skip out the door enthusiastically to plant bulbs.  

FlyLady is a swear word at times.   But at other times she is a Godsend.   If I cannot manage to get my oafy self off the couch, the FlyLady has been assisting me in at least giving goals and direction.   This does not always work for me but at times it has been a huge help.   Ongoing battles with depression keep whacky me from taking care of things like I should and also fighting the weight of all of that frustration leaves one feeling a bit befuddled at times.    So.....I re-signed up for  the FlyLady to fight the good fight.   I can't believe I am writing this but whatever.   I also can not believe I am the only person in this boat.   So at least if there is someone telling me what to do, I might do it.   It is making a difference so far.   No one else is me but me and no one else can help get me moving besides me.   Blah, blah, blah.  

This house is old.   150 years old this year.   Old homes are dusty and dirty.   I am at my wits end with the dust and dirt.   My parental speech of the day was to take a moment and consider helping out without being told (aka as Karin the mom comedy hour).   Ten acres also breeds dust.   Farmer's fields near by and a highway.   Dirt and dust flying this way to make Karin nuts.   I can't keep up with it and books also seem to be like large pieces of ever encroaching dust.   I sneeze all day and I sneeze all night from...the....dust.    I have asthma kids who should have all this dust but can't figure out how to conquer it.   I am attempting this week to eliminate flat surfaces in which to pile books (dust) on and just go shelf by shelf and put stuff away.   When in the world are we supposed to do this AND the homeschooling thing????   Time to hide most of the toys, find their outdoor winter coats etc. and keep them out of the house if at all possible.   I can't make them stop eating but maybe they can eat outside????   Yes.   I might start digging a latrine so the mess that goes with that might stay outside too.  Sounds reasonable to me!   The digging might be therapeutic too.  One day at a time by the Grace of God.........

There are days

which seem like a time warp in a backward sort of way.   I see just today, which is probably a good thing to focus on, and then..........the kid who still can't read mainly because it is a challenge to find time for him which is quiet, slooowwwlllly plods along.    There is a yelp from the upstairs, and a complaint as the kids I blew up at are NOT cleaning up the mess left all over the toddlers area.   Dirty and clean toddler clothing are the constant carpeting in there.   I think I am at my crankiest when basically overwhelmed and my nose keeps dripping and I keep blowing it and then nose blowing then leads to belching and a need to then also run to the bathroom for all the coffee I had earlier.   Deep question of the day..........why does sneezing and nose blowing make you burp??????????    Very weird.   I am now going to give in, run to the bathroom one more time and then cave in to the crying 14 month old who seems very needy today.    This is probably much like everyone's day.....probably.   

Balancing Act

I am trying not to think too hard about about how to get it all done. When your house and life get to the point that it causes you to stare at it all like a bump on a log......where do you begin? You do the next thing. I am glad we can't 'hear' what is going on in other people's brains. The few men folk, friends of the family, who have stopped by lately must be really wondering what is up around here. Nine kiddos, a tired mommy, a traveling daddy, lots of fluff and entertainment in between from the exterior world! Ahhhh!!!!! Griping and not know where to begin. I love it when a mom of one in school starts spilling on me how complicated their lives are. Sigh. I say nothing and smile and nod my head. NO ONE can understand all this bunches of kids stuff unless they live it. Smile and nod, smile and nod. Emotional support of many is....exhausting. Laundry of many is exhausting. Now food for many is not so exhausting as it is just more of the same ingredients. I would be a church basement woman and cook for crowds but.....no thanks. I am not cut out for that job. Conversation from yesterday which spells it all out. "I walk by the plastic tupperware cabinet every day and think about how I really need to weed it out. What is it about a cabinet of mismatched Tupperware which leaves a mom laid out in exhaustion?" Yep. So goes the rest of the house. Tupperware gives one perspective on life I guess. Well, this is just another running at the mouth post. Next stop, eight hours of driving to retrieve my eldest. I am looking forward to my time with her and helping her in any way I can. All you moms out there with bunches, soak it up while you can. Sunday is coming!

The Next Frame

My basic visualization exercise for the kids this fall is to imagine they are living in a comic strip. If the comic strip is about getting ready for dinner they can see in their mind the first frame.....table covered with school stuff.....next frame.......table in theory with nothing on it and ready to accept plate and silverware customers........food on plates and bunches of people eating it and making a mess.......what.....is.....the next frame? Pause. Choices. Table still full of plates and food and crumbs and spills and no people anywhere to be seen or....pause.....visualize a different option???? The kids love to hear me give them these different possibilities. I love to give them too as it prevents the urge to scream at them for escaping.

Getting rid of more stuff

Revisiting the purging of stuff from our house. I am visiting with our awesome friends in Duluth and admiring their lack of stuff. My biggest struggle is with books and laundry. Otherwise I am preparing to get rid of even more dishes, appliances and other such heirlooms. I promise not to get rid of the humans. Too many dishes, cups, office type/school stuff, clothes, SOCKS, etc. The problem.....no time to get rid of more stuff. The other problem.....well, I will figure it out.....maybe.....

The fall should be interesting. Our goal will be satisfaction with whatever we are able to get done in the school department and keeping life as simple as possible. Hmmmm.......then there are the other goals......breathe.

Thrilling post and thoughts of the day.

Gave in to the laundry

That FlyLady person is always going on and on about how our bedrooms are our sanctuary. I bought into that mantra till yesterday. My living room is MY sanctuary and it has never seemed to stay clean laundry free. So....I decided to set up a laundry sorting station in our bedroom and finally be free of the mess in the living room which everyone sees and trips over the stuff anyway. It is far easier for me to contain that stuff in the bedroom anyway. So, the locals might get it in their head that I have becomes organized and am finally on top of the laundry, but in reality I am hoping to not be ON TOP of the laundry.

I had the boys set up my grandma's dining room table in my room. I am also on the hunt for a very small tv to set up on the table so I can go hide in there and watch my favorite movies while sorting. It also occurred to me that since it is a dining room table, I could even hide in there for a quiet, undisturbed meal. Well, undisturbed meal might be a stretch but still, there is that option.

We have an old home. It appears large but.....there are a lot of people bouncing around in here. My bedroom will be a sanctuary of a different sort.......I'm okay with that. I also am happy to give the illusion that all the laundry is done and put away. Yes.

Onward.....