Saturday, November 19, 2016

Three flown, six to go.

My two eldest boys have flown the coup.  I am delighted for them.  I can't say I'm sad and I know it wil be quieter but envisualizing them independent and away from their noisy family is also time to cherish for them.  I am one to love my kids deeply and probably too deeply.  I enjoy talking with them and having their adult companionship.   What more could I ever want for them but to successfully be independent.  I can also unload extra stuff on them!!!!!   Whee!!!!!   Less furniture!!!!!   Stuff be gone.  Ha ha.


Life has been bouncing around.  I'm not necessarily suited for change but everyone experiences it.  I used to hear of people's struggle with change and wasn't able to feel it.  For the longest time stamina and goals moved me through life.   Now I see it everywhere and pretend to understand it.

I'm not very talented at bearing with change is what I've discovered.  Change has been pounding away at me.  It seems relentless.  I'm not good at it.  I keep moving forward.  The phone rings and someone is very ill and needs help in the family.  I want to love those people and feel it all too much. The phone keeps ringing.   I hate the phone.  Stop it.

Then stepping through healing or death.  The eyes of people tell so much.  Pray with me Karin.  Listen to me.  I will and I count it a privilege to listen to the dying.  I rejoice their confession of faith. If lucid, they share memories which I won't have anyone to speak to anymore about them.  He favorite great aunt, their stories, their impact.

The young and healthy have eyes and stories and relationships we hold in common.  I need to press forward for their sake to maintain and develop those wonderful relationships.   I have a weakness of feeling things and have talk myself into activities of relationship.   I want to know my children and family truly.

The journey marches forth.  I hope I can do this thing.  I hate the phone.