It's our youngest daughter's birthday tomorrow. This week is the first time in eighteen years, that we won't have two sisters at home and Ingrid will be alone in the fort. She isn't completely alone, as she has me, but with three brothers still in the roost, it still will be a lot different. I hope that she and I will be able to keep each other encouraged with the feminine side of life and support in the sea of testosterone.
I can already see her gravitating more to me, since her next oldest sister was dropped at school last week. More hugs, more visits to mom in the evening, more of myself getting a lump in my throat with changes in the family. She will actually receive more from me than her sisters did, since more have flown the coop and I can focus more on individuals. I'm sorry for the parts of me which weren't able to invest a bit more with the others, but there again I'm not as each scenario has is plusses and minuses. We are all very good at getting down on ourselves, or at least I am, and fail to see the benefits to those situations which have been challenging in our past. I can't assume that my little family of four at home, will not thrive with the new dynamics. I hope the last four kids can finish off my career of at home kids with a bang.
Everything gets a bit better when I praise, pray and give thanks and remember who has walked along the way with me. It isn't all or nothing. I'm probably too aware of all the nuances and second guess myself more than I should. Ingrid will get the best of her mom which is now and the family girls hopefully will feel bonded together.
And so it goes.
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