Random parenting thought

Few things peeve me more than when a parent discusses their child's behavior with another adult in front of the child or their siblings.    Imagine for a moment if we discussed other adults behavior in front of that adult with a friend.  Um......wouldn't this be really offensive?    A child is a person too and they do hear what we are saying and they do realize they are the topic of scrutiny.    So.......in respect for our kids, perhaps giving thought to the audience of our conversations  might be a good idea.   This mama's fire is lit when other well meaning adults start talking to me about my kids in front of my kids as if they are not able to comprehend what is being said.   Kids are individuals too!   Enough.  I think the point is made.  

Giving up the gift exchange

We have nine children, one son-in-law and one grandchild and....amazingly all four of the grandparents of our children.  Wow.   I also have one brother and his wife whom we have maintained some semblance of a gift exchange for....ever.    So, now that money is tight again, I have decided through discussion with my family and a few others, to give up the whole gift exchange thing this year and hopefully do weird things like play with the games we already have, have a hymn sing or something, read books that we already have, enjoy the rest of the year with less stress and just give up the guilt.   We can NOT keep up with the whole 'have a zoo membership' AND have gifts for everyone at Christmas.   That is just one example.  

I spend SOOOO much time during the year cleaning up all the junk we acquire at Christmas and birthdays that there must be a radical change.   Wouldn't I rather spend the year actually doing nice things with my family instead of chasing all this crap around?   How many dolls, toys, etc. does one family need anyway?    It may be suggested by some that a zoo membership could be the gift of the year but even that has some strings attached to it so no, money will be spent on yummy food, making things together throughout the year and just enjoying each other....hopefully (!).    

Now to return to decluttering my house of all the stuff so I don't have to take care of it anymore and I don't have to look forward to getting more stuff in the future.   Enough already!  

Changes

Today has been a day of catching up on maintenance chores around here.   Maintenance to me means maintaining the yard, keeping up with the laundry, throwing stuff out, etc.    My kids help with some things and other things it is more like pulling teeth.   Looking around the house, which I haven't been here to maintain much in the last month or so, gives me the urge to throw a lot out, give it away, etc.    I sort of wish I had never signed up for the Christmas plethora program to begin with.   I can't change what has past but I think the advice I will give my kids will be to keep Christmas as simple as possible and birthdays too.   What changes can be instilled now to decrease the stuff clutter and stress. 

I have a new grandchild!   This will establish new traditions with my daughter and her family of whether chasing some ideal is a good idea or just kiss up the little one and read to her and perhaps have her pick out books from her Grandma's collection of books to keep.   Maybe I will watch which ones she loves and let that lead the decision.   

My oldest son is now through Marine boot camp and a Marine.   That has twisted my head around to a new understanding of the military which I never had before.   I miss him.   He will not want to come home and sleep on the bunk above his brother.    He has ideas of things to pursue but his ten day leave was not very long to pursue them.    He was so tired but so grown up and more and more a kindred spirit.   I am still here to talk to him and think things through but our relationship is changing to something different.   I like it.   

I see the others growing up and look to the changes which will come.   We are actually out of diapers and that work is far less.   I feel like I can read books again, and even think of some of my own person interests again.   I am having fun including the kids in those interests too so that is a change as well.   I want to go fishing.   I want to row out in the middle of a lake and fish both alone and with a few kids in tow.   These are nice changes.   I like these too.