There has been some discussion elsewhere about loneliness at home with the kiddos. I have certainly struggled with this over the years but the more I think about it and live this crazy life, I do see that learning a little more self control over my ADD desire to do stuff with others, does help me be happier to just be at home. I pile the guilt higher and deeper when I am not here and we accomplish little. It is the life of bunches of kids to begin with, especially if you aspire to home educate the kids. Our hands seem to be tied in this regard.
There are things I would like to do better with the kids at home anyway so how can I do that if I am itching to be with adults???? I have to build time in life to do these things. I want my kids to learn to read to me. I want to read more to them. I want to help them learn to do their own laundry and care about what the house looks like....more.....not perfectly, just more. I want to cook more yummy nutritious foods so the kids whine less and are more content themselves. Talking to the kids only happens if I am home more. When I am not home, I need to take some kids with me and not just crave time to escape. It really helps their little selves feel better and then we all feel better.
One day at a time. Conscientious effort to make appointments later in the day and bunch a few together. Plan meals so I don't make lots of little trips to the store. Revolve the family life also around prayer and the church. If we start skipping morning Catechesis we are already off to a bad unsettling start.
Norms of society, especially American society, give us all ADD. ADHD really. Hyper life. Scrambled family. I can't take too much of that for very long so am trying to choose not to choose that life. Scouts and church and piano lessons about kill me. These are all rambling thoughts. Perhaps I will gather my thoughts and make this a more organized thought. Feel free to add your own thoughts and frustrations.
I find that the more time I spend outside the home, the more I long for it and the more discontented I feel at home. The more time I am at home with the kids and home-making, the more fulfilling it is, the more satisfied I am, and [usually] the less I miss the adult-time. My problem right now is that (because of my job) I have to be away from home, and that just makes for a mess of conflictedness.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, the more we deny ourselves and serve our children and husband, the happier we are in doing so, and the less we yearn to 'break free' from what is, in reality, the best freedom.