Family women

It's our youngest daughter's birthday tomorrow.  This week is the first time in eighteen years, that we won't have two sisters at home and Ingrid will be alone in the fort.   She isn't completely alone, as she has me, but with three brothers still in the roost, it still will be a lot different.   I hope that she and I will be able to keep each other encouraged with the feminine side of life and support in the sea of testosterone.  

I can already see her gravitating more to me, since her next oldest sister was dropped at school last week.   More hugs, more visits to mom in the evening, more of myself getting a lump in my throat with changes in the family.   She will actually receive more from me than her sisters did, since more have flown the coop and I can focus more on individuals.   I'm sorry for the parts of me which weren't able to invest a bit more with the others, but there again I'm not as each scenario has is plusses and minuses.   We are all very good at getting down on ourselves, or at least I am, and fail to see the benefits to those situations which have been challenging in our past.   I can't assume that my little family of four at home, will not thrive with the new dynamics.   I hope the last four kids can finish off my career of at home kids with a bang.  

Everything gets a bit better when I praise, pray and give thanks and remember who has walked along the way with me.   It isn't all or nothing.   I'm probably too aware of all the nuances and second guess myself more than I should.   Ingrid will get the best of her mom which is now and the family girls hopefully will feel bonded together.  

And so it goes.  

Resuming again

Today is one of those days, which is the last day for my family to be as it is now.  Cecilia leaves for college in the morning.  Her room is packed, she's closed the lid on her precious piano, and now my stomach is feeling a bit nauseated.   I'm of course happy for her but with another flying the coop, it is still hard.  I'm a bit concerned about Ingrid, her younger sister and last girl, besides me, at home.   Ingrid and I will have to comfort each other and take up new things to do together.   Cecilia can still come home of course and visit on break and occasional times, but during the week will not be the same.  

Yep, I'm surprising myself by being on the edge of tears.   I'm either a sentimental old sap, or I'm normal.   When I think of the other kids who have flown the coop, I know it won't be the same.   I will need to put on my new hat, of mom of four at home.   I've tried the hat on a few times already while she was away at camp or what have you..   I know I will catch myself calling her name in the house.   I still call kids by the names of their oldest siblings!  Old age will be entertaining I'm sure.

I myself am on some new adventures.   I will be starting a part time job, working with the Notre Dame Children's Choir.   I love what they do and to be able to help them in any way will be a joy.   I will be runner and organizer of sorts, but will also be helping with the kids themselves in the highways and byways of rehearsals.   I have so much respect for the directors and the families involved.   Most of the job will be while my own kids are there for rehearsal, so that will be all the better.   I'm still sort of stunned by the opportunity which fell in my lap.  

New experiences for everyone will keep us on our toes.   I have high hopes for the year.   And so it goes.