Perhaps that was an odd post

I always seem to blog with enthusiasm and then contemplate afterward if it was a bit off the wall. Hmmmmmm.......I think the bottom line in my cute little walk/walking with Cindy, is that life is a process which we don't regularly feel intensely or deeply, and then when you do, it is hard to know the best way to proceed. We are just helping each other out. :o)

Step by step

I had a good talk with my dear friend Cindy yesterday about the art of taking one minute, one hour at a time. For different reasons this has been a challenge to us both and escaping the accusations of the devil in being tempted to think about tomorrow is a mental work out. If only we both could focus on what is good now and remember to do that consistently then............we wouldn't cling so tightly to Christ. So cling we do. Duh, this not considered a bad thing. :o) We have made a goal to walk more together to remind each other to do this. We have different struggles but they are amazingly similar in effect. I've debated whether to blog at all about any of this. Most likely I will stick to vague blogging but the effect of struggling on, each minute, might be helpful to somebody.

Several conclusions to yesterday's chat were that denying the effect of our struggles will just injure us further and devising strategies to get through this day are helpful. Jesus holds our hands whether we are having a good laugh or failing to cope well. This is comforting. Avoiding focusing on the struggles does not always work well but it is a good idea.

Cindy has been practicing her lap harp quite a bit lately. She is contemplating joining a music therapy group to help other people in different settings. She encouraged me to dust off my dulcimer. I think I will. Music is therapeutic for sure. We laughed a bit about avoiding hymns in minor keys right now. I laughed a bit this morning thinking about how our church's hymn of the week is of course in a minor key. It is Lent. Are there Lenten hymns which are NOT in a minor key? Will have to investigate. Perhaps if we both persevere in our playing we could join forces.

We hope to keep after each other in scheduling regular walking times. Right now the deal is to walk every day which is possible in our schedules. Walking is good. Sunlight, if there is any, fresh air, finding things to laugh about, and checking up on each other a bit and allowing the other person to process this week or this days struggle is a good plan.

I marvel at how Christ has brought the two of us together at this time to hold each others hand. I didn't dare to share my own struggles till earlier this week and it is SUCH a comfort to receive empathy and not the fear I had of her feeling that my struggles do not compare. Sigh. Different struggles but much the same as I said in effect on our minds and bodies. She has called me her therapist in the recent past. I guess she can return the favor. I appreciate her insight. I appreciate her humor and encouragement to look up the joke applications for my new phone toy.

Evan, our 8 month old is her Godchild. This I find amazing too as of course I did not even think about the possibilities of her struggle occurring when she and her husband became his Godparents. She loves to play with him and I bought a jogging stroller yesterday just so he could accompany us on our walks. I LOVE the stroller. Took me nine kids to get an agreeable stroller. Hmmmm......I am not giving IT away as it will stay here in hopes of some grandkids someday and saving parents some luggage space. I'll try to keep it clean.............

So this is long, but I will try to keep y'all vaguely up to date on the process. Now time to conquer the hour.

Sand box

My kids favorite place is their sand box. It hasn't been visited since last fall and today it is 60 degrees and glorious. I am quietly inside while the rest are outside digging and creating in the sandbox. Many of our friends have made their own Horner sandbox as a result of their fun here at ours. I do want to of course throw out some of the more horrifying toys and perhaps refresh them. The rusty Tonka toys I suppose are questionable but have not considered to get rid of them yet.

I hope to clean my 'nest' out today in the living room. I is too tired to move at the moment so am trying to concoct a plan between chillin out on the couch. I think I need a nap. Sigh. I know I should rev up school again next week but Anna being home this week motivated us to pitch and throw stuff out. Watch out for that girl! I am the one pitching and throwing though and she cheers me on. Said all that already.

I love our sandbox...........just saying. Everyone needs to have one.

Can't part with that

I continue to rummage through the junk around here and am struck by how much of it is here to either assuage my guilt or someone else's. You know what they are.....the shampoo from the hotel, the excess bath and body junk someone else didn't like and assumed you would be able to use (even though you have your own favorites and know full well it will be a chore to use up someone else's shampoo). The lids to containers which disappeared at some social function or broke, need to LEAVE! Gift bags and cleaners clogging up the closet that was meant to house the laundry baskets and keep them out of sight, will all join the dearly departed stuff exiting my house.

I did reign myself in a bit with the old cross stitching hobby. I AM going to go through that stuff but give away only those things which are..........ridiculous. My grandmothers cross stitch table cloth she never finished. I will NEVER finish it. Several things which were on sale and seemed like a good deal with also leave. Otherwise, the cross stitch life is still on hold and I would enjoy it so will keep some of it. I was going to just close my eyes and give it all away.

In the land of closets and drawers, I am not looking back very hard. Face it....I will never cut out that felt barn for the kids to look at in the pew. In fact, we don't want doing much of anything in the pew but sit and listen at this juncture.

It was all on clearance you know. The American lie. "It was a good deal" (justifying purchase) "Really, I saved a bunch, but now I can not walk through my house. Tomorrow is another day of pitching and throwing. I might not get to it all today. It is very easy to do though.

Studying and test taking

We are on the road to helping one of the kids with test taking skills and studying skills. I remember in college wondering myself why no one ever taught me skills to help me with memorizing facts which I didn't care much about. Well.....I must have passed on the inability to remember little facts and dates to some of my children. We are going to a doc who is giving me hope that he can help son fill in the gaps as the gaps are a little more amplified for him then just a lack of memorization skills. I think I am going to ask the doc for advice on some sort of book which would help me teach the rest of the kids these skills. I have blindly ordered some books on the topic in the past but never was very impressed with them and of course they are now for sale on Amazon. They didn't work for me or my kids. Maybe I will have the older ones study some odd topic and then work on the dates or facts for that topic and give them some tests? I don't know. Right at the moment I am happy for what we can get done today and leave it at that.

I am open to suggestions and experience on the topic. I am not sure if they teach this in the schools today or not or if kids are just left to flounder. I don't want my kids to flounder and struggle if I am able to help them. Right at the moment I am helping recoup their brain cells by allowing them to sleep. :o)

Nostagia

I've been puzzling about what is so special about nostalgia. I think nostalgia for better fashion is easy to understand but hanging on to every little thing of our relatives past does not make sense. I have been slowly now tackling the clutter in drawers. This clutter is mostly bunches of items which were my grandparents. I will never use them. They sit there. They don't help me love the memories of my grandparents. Sure, I miss them, but they are not worried about their stuff now. My children never knew my grandparents and they hear stories about them but the connection to the stuff is not there.

Sigh. I suppose these items of nostalgia relieve the guilt of some for getting rid of them by taking up space here. I personally rejoice in the fact that my grandparent's labors are finished. Their stuff made up their routines in life. My grandpa's letter opener sat out on the area he went through his mail. I remember him doing that. I don't use it............

Yesterday I went through a container of baby socks. Baby socks........they have not set *foot* on a baby since perhaps Matthew or maybe even Anna. ?????????? They are gone now. Even the cute little ruffle socks Anna wore on her cute little Anna feet (when they were little) when she toddled around our abode. Cute. Memory. Gone. Now I have an empty plastic container which is not kicking around anymore. Goodwill.....plastic container.

Books are leaving in droves. Another fourth of my clothes left yesterday. Benjamin's dresser has only those clothes I like in there now and all the psychedelic shirts, old sports shirts from other people, rotten jammies, dingy underwear......are gone. Phew.

Like I said before, if I start getting rid of my knitting books, you can give me a jingle but at the moment they are staying put. The kids clothes in 'storage' might get another reaming out this summer.

Enough on thinning out the Horner stuff. Anna, Evan and I might hit the road for a bit. A nap sounds good too.

Still narrowing my focus..........more.

Every stinking place I look in this house I see books that just have to go! More and more and more! I had a conversation with a homeschooling mom I don't even know, and my wheels started turning again of stuff I am not going to keep. Phew. Slow and steady.......it has to be slow and it has to be steady. I is tired. I is tired of dealing with all the books and the shuffling of them back and forth. I am not tired of listing books for sale as it will ultimately refill the coffers and help me evaluate each one as to where to donate them if they are worthless.

Ramble, ramble......need to go eat lunch.