I have been giving a lot of thought to the futility of nagging. Being a normal human, I have been on the receiving end of nagging for a long time. The funny thing is, nagging and being informed of the obvious usually does not help the receiver. Nagging can be perceived as caring for the person, or "They must need to be told this as obviously they don't already know it."
Take for instance being fat or out of shape. The person who is fat, out of shape, eats poorly is well aware of it. Their brains work the same way everyone else does. You know how it is. Small efforts are made to change eating habits and then the first time they eat a bowl of ice cream or rebel at their lack of vege eating, loved ones love to help us out by nagging. Nagging gives me a compulsion to eat more of it.
Suggestion. Whatever your 'need' is to 'help' other people, instead of helping by stating the obvious, practice saying nothing. Iron their shirts or take out the trash instead. Same with nagging kids. Figure out some way to love them and try not to scream at them for the millionth offense. It is far more helpful. How about, "Here Stefan, could you bring me those shoes someone dumped in the living room so we can put them away?" or.......smiling........"hey Benjamin, the kitchen is getting out of control, could you help me dry the dishes if I wash them?". I guess I would call this 'Get off your butt loving". Getting off our butts is far more effective than any amount of yelling or nagging. Just saying........
Yes, I am guilty of this too. It is just some thoughts on nagging. For the fat people, getting off our butts will help anyway. For those who live with the sorry saps who can not seem to shake the pounds, love them and know how really aware they are of their fatness. Shake your fat prejudice too. That helps bunches. Don't even go on and on about the walk the fat person took and inform them how helpful that was. Really????? That takes all the fun out of it.
FlyLady philosophy works. No martyrs, no nagging, silent processing of the situation, give other people credit for having a brain and to me the best part is the silence and secret of just giving FlyLady ideas a try without making a big deal of it. This is far more loving than yelling and nagging. At least I think so.