Wednesday, November 17, 2010

It is all relative

Today is not a lot different than any other day in my life. I have my Benjamin who consumes most of the day with his lessons in school. He is pretty dyslexic as far as I can tell and I have to repeat and repeat and repeat the instruction. The obvious to others is something I need to reteach again and again. What is the difference between a big B and a little b. I think I might be over 10,000 times now. Sigh. It is SOOOOO time consuming. I love this little boy. I have been here and done this with another child and tell myself every day that a few years from now, Benjamin too might want to read Harry Potter or whatever strikes his fancy.

In the meantime the two year old spends much of her day frustrated and the older kids try to pick up the slack in paying attention to her. I would love to take time to just sit and read to her more or even play with her. Evan is starting to play with toys and is pretty much adorable but he still spends much of his day interested in his stomach.

My dear husband is facing the big unemployment thing. We know it is true now, the question is how much longer. His severance package will be pretty good and we hope he can hang in there till June for his 25th anniversary at Bosch. Hmmmm.....I will get tired of thinking about that. I am trying to make things pleasant at home and yes, sometimes I do feel like crying because I know how much both of us hate red tape and we will have to use up a few rolls of that. We basically suck at red tape but are trying to improve. Resumes......yuck.

There are bright spots. I won't elaborate but at least there are some. Regular life without the stressors can be a bright spot too. I felt well enough about the job thing yesterday and today but I suppose having to witness Charley go through the end of everything he has known is hard to watch. Sigh. I suppose I wouldn't feel half this way if some of the kids would see to their responsibilities without so much parental encouragement and also the pain of the tedium of Benjamin's school lessons.

This is getting too long, but we are also sort of canceling Thanksgiving gatherings as we will be visiting friends earlier in the week and then Evan has outpatient surgery on Friday. We will do something small at home and be glad Anna is home for a few days. All of this leaves little time to breath.

Get over the poor me Karin. It will all be okay.